One of the most common exchanges I have with people goes like this:
Me: Hey how are you doing?
Person: Pretty good I’m just really busy…
It’s as if people have to feel busy. If they’re not busy then they’re doing something wrong. Busyness is about results. It’s about working at such a rate that you’re getting something done. There’s a constant drive to be busy which makes rest even more important.
Rest: to cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength.
I’ve been reading a book recently called Kings Cross by Timothy Keller. He has a chapter on rest that stuck with me.
In that chapter on rest, Keller muses on what rest truly means by looking at Chariots of Fire. Chariots of Fire is based on the true story of two Olympians who were competing together, Eric Lidell and Harold Abrahams.
Keller highlights this contrast between the two runners by comparing Abrahams and Eric’s different motivations. Eric loves to run while Abrahams is driven to run because he has a deep-seated need to prove himself. Running in search of victory satisfies that hunger to prove himself.
Abrahams at one point in the movie remarks that he has “ten seconds to justify my existence.” In that conversation Abrahams talks about his life he remarks that he lacks a sense of contentment.
“You Aubry you’re brave, compassionate, kind a content man. That’s your secret your contentment. I’m forever in pursuit and I don’t know what I’m chasing.”
Abrahams like a lot of us who are busy is restless. Because underneath his work to run as well as possible is the work of self-justification. His desire to prove his worth through his work.
I fear that sometimes whether we believe it or not the idea that we have ten seconds to justify our existence creeps into our thinking.
We say I’ve got one test to prove my existence, four or three years of school to prove our existence or I’ve got to get this job or this ranking or this accolade to prove my existence.
That’s exhausting.
I know people don’t truly say these things, but you see it tacitly manifested through our constant business and desire to do well. It’s as if our lives depended on it. A lot of us are working to prove something, to justify our abilities in a way that makes us worthy of affection, wealth or power.
But at some level the insecurity that drives that search for worthiness will never fade despite achieving success. While the objects of our work can be achieved, if that work is fueled by a deep need to prove ourselves worthy will the achievements ever be enough?
Resting from the work of self justification and realizing who you are isn’t affected by what you can or cannot do is truly freeing. It’s the contentment that Harold talks about in Chariots of Fire and it’s the contentment that I think can truly lead to a more restful existence.